Hi, my name is..

Fuck it. I finally realized that I've had an attitude problem my entire life. Maybe it was because I was born dead on a cold garage floor (which is why I hate working on cars, I'm sure) or maybe it was me being teased by the older black kids in my neighborhood, a ritual the trailer park kids down the street jumped in on as well. These were the same black kids that tried to jump me when I was six. The older brother held me so his younger brothers could punch me (I'm sure it was just because I had red hair, or because I refused to chew my gum any quieter on the bus) but I ended up, to my own amazement, pushing one kid down the ditch and taking the other kid's backpack and throwing it down the sewer.
This of course, wasn't the first time kids decided they didn't like me. I remember my first fight, back when I was only four years old. There were these dirty pale kids on the military base in Puerto Rico who loved to roll down this hill in front of their house in big green plastic trash cans. You could see them out there almost every day, pushing each other down the street and laughing like big dumb ass morons. That't probably because they were just that. Morons.
I think this particular incident started when my sister put a big rock in a bubble gum wrapper and told the leader of the dirty pale kids, there were three of them, to close his eyes and open his mouth. Like the dumb dumb he was he did just that and got a chipped tooth and a broken ego. My sister came home crying for some reason and my best friend Tyler and I decided to go over there and finish her job for her. I remember kicking one kid in the nuts and us throwing the same rock eating kid into his own plastic trash can and kicking him down the hill. I don't think he was screaming for joy that time...
Or maybe it's from my time in the Army as a Military Police Officer. Another place in this world where big dumb people get to scream at you and tell you what to do all day long. Yes sergeant, I would absolutely love to go outside in the rain and mud and do push-ups for you. No sir, I hate sleeping, PLEASE wake me up and force me outside to jog in the sleet and snow just because I forgot to bring a pen to class. That makes sense doesn't it? Come to think of it, I think they had the bigger attitude problem, compared to me for once. I mean, they just loved to pick on ME in particular. They said it was because I had the most "potential" to be a great soldier. I never believed them. I definitely call bullshit on that one.
This brings me to where I am today. Looking for a positive outlet for my built-up anger. I'm like a buffer, red-headed version of Adam Sandler's character off of Anger Management. I'm about to implode. So what the fuck am I to do?